im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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