well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
