physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
