Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
