It's like God shit irony all over that family
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
