It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
