Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize