The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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