Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
