so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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