Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
There's even glitter on my cock...
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