This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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