so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
