it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
