sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
