you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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