My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
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I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
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These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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