Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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