Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
