He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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