Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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