we made out on top of his cat.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The struggles of a small town man whore
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
