office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
