I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
