I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
