I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
