You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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