I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
