Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
