I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
