Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
