I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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