when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
