Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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