I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
