Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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