is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
