i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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