I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
