I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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