I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
