i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
