i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
