Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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