K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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