I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
