Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
