She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
