i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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