the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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