Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
do nipples grow back?
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