There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
