I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You can't special order awesome
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
