Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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