I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just high enough for therapy.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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