i think my mom watched the whole time
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
