the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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