she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
