Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
