Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
