I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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