Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You may now shotgun with the bride
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I can't turn off my feet"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
