Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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